22

I'm excited to be 22

It seems like such a good year
Partying but not quite partying
Being mature
Being in the last year of uni
Planning my gap year 
Maybe actually being in a happy relationship
Making friends I've known for a year
Two years
Three years
Or "we've met 4 years ago"
I'm still hoping to say "we were best friends since year 8"
Having a car
Driving that car
Having a weird amount of paper and pens and drawings in tht car, and furry dice hanging on the review mirror of that car
And finding it funny every time
Having my parents actually trust me and not calling me up all the time
Allowed to stay over the night, two nights, three nights
A part-time job
Dyed hair
Expensive clothes
Piercings and tattoos
Fat bank account 
(At the rate I'm going I might have 20,000 in my bank account)
Living in a bigger house
Being fit
Being happy even

That's my illusion of 22 

Getting out of this phase and finally trying to be a grown up, a happy grown up

Seeing my brother, Saphearak, complain about his second year in uni, he's 20 and he is slimmed down but still quite tubby and has a sweet quite chubby girlfriend, they're obviously gonna get married, they play games a lot and she and I go shopping, I get to know Saphearak through her, I feel like I know Saphearak through her

Marcel is 14, he skateboards to school and back because he doesn't want mum to drive, pimples but really tall, dark but handsome. I force him to do drama and he hates it (not) Miss Kenna loves him and tells me about him, he wants to ask a girl up but he's too shy, I try to help him but he won't let me, he's more open than Saphearak ever was

Mum, I hope she looks old, still tries to look young, actually promoted in her job and less days of work but she still complains, she asks if we want another brother/sister in your life, because her babies are never home, marcel rolls his eyes

Dad, starts his own business, and stops complaining about his bad back, he gives up on his hair cause balding has literally taken over, not a single hair on his head, only on his face, loves mum more than ever because he's happy with being his own boss, she is more ok with us cause dad keeps her company

I hope 22 is beautiful


I see you in colours that don't exist - Paul Matsumoto 

stay up to 4 in the morning

and the tears are pouring 
and i want to make it worth the fight
what have we been doing all this time
baby is we're gonna do come on do it right




why am i listening to gwen stafani at this time am i right?

oo and a change up with the quote being in the front yeah cass?

awesome

so yes i have been listening to a lot of electronic lately like ta-ku and xxyyxx and even some flume, not to mention hip hop like biggie smalls and ect and also old songs i listened to in 2006so thats been cool

the only chances i havent been listening to them is blasting it in eehs car, he literally drives me everywhere now, i feel like ishould buy him dinner only cause andrew and jesss drives put together dont even add up to how much eeh has driven me

good on ya for keeping up with my company

usually people give up on me by now haha

dont worry itll happen eventually

youre a very patient person e :)

so yes, why am i awake? i dont know

i just dont want to do anything

i should be studying and i will tmr i swear

if i wake up on time

im excited for tuesday cause i am going to do a bunch or errands for myself and try and feel like a grown up not to mention the fact i am working inbetween those days

work is awesome because it is a distraction

when im overworked i am tired and when im tired i am way too tired to be sad

man i have overworked the word tried in there

get it?

no ok, welp, people are posting again and it is really making me happy haha

i have been watching a lot of parks and recreation lately i dont know why

i want to be creative, its a yearning and at time like this (3 in the morning) my self esteem has hit an all time low like it usually does, im not sad ive just been feeling a bit edgy lately like something is missing

ok i might be a little sad because of that, but i try not to think about it

sometimes my brain hurts when i listen to too much music, i know, isnt that impossible

April come she will by simon and garfunkel is so calming, it reminds me so much of the graduate, but then again simon and garfunkel did write the whole soundtrack for it

i love old movies, i feel like ive stepped in a whole new world, like by old i mean not now like even 5 years ago it makes me laugh

just the clothes setting effects jokes themes politics in the movie even

i mean top hat was such a joy no one understands, the set is so obviously a set and the effects were laughable and the fashion was mind bobbling not to mention the means of entertainment back in the days, it was MUSICALS like wow its was such a good movie

then the graduate, the fashion and the poeple and the uni and it was just lovely to watch, and fucking blow up thats some crazy avant-garde shit

OMG i went to go watch catching fire, fucking amazing seriously as good as the first

but i wish katnisss hair wasnt so black, it was like pitch and it was brown in the first

i hate it when people dye their hair from something bright to pitch black and is like OMG back to natural
like no brown is more natural and really dark brown, its so overwhelming when they dye it comepletely back its scary haha]

the only thing im really excited for is next year, i mightve already mentioned that this year was overwhelming for me like its just painful

i want to improve myself, maybe change my room around, buy new furniture, get shelves and just empty things up its so clustered and buy new things

Danny told me it feels good cause its an illusion of productivity'

HOW RIGHT YOU ARE MY FRIEND HAHHAHA

you sir are amazing

oh lets just mention some of my new years resolution, first of all they may hold in the hands of 3 people

Andrew- Health, he always complains about my health, habit and thighs, and so maybe with his constant babbling i can eat healthy, stop eating junk food, start cooking for myself and maybe even gym or run of just "feel better inside" he claims :)

Danny- Study, frankly he scares me and tells me im stupid in a very womanly empowering way if that makes sense, he focuses on study like crazy, and hes very um,.. clean as well so that might also help BUT maybe he can change my poor, very poor, like REALLY poor sstudying habits and get my wam much higher

Eeh- Shutting the fuck up- he is the most important person in this operation, unlike emily im the opposite of private, i think its a result from being in the kik cause ive never properly been in a group ive just had boby but yeah, he is going to help me privatise myself and just stopping

so yeah thats one of my missions next yeah AND OH IF DANNY DOESNT MOVE TO WESTERN SYDNEY AND EEH GETS INTO UNSW WE WILL ALL BE THERE AW YEAH

so before next year if i have time off work or the beginning of next year ima clear my room, get new things and have these boys make me and better me cause i hate me right now oh and i need uni friends badly but sandy is coming along well like seriously shes so cool

she gave me a lecture and she told me funny storys and we shared maccas and she said if she were to get me anything for xmas she would get me a popular penguin book, oh how lovely is she??

OOOOO

let me add something else

this is something i found on tumblr


things to start doing:
  1. drink more water
  2. carry a camera everywhere i go
  3. read more books than i already do
  4. go for walks
  5. do yoga more often
  6. go to bed earlier
  7. enjoy the little things
  8. go outside more
  9. stop comparing myself to others
  10. stick to my goals n stop putting things off
  11. write down my feelings
  12. smile more, especially at random people

isnt it lovely?

must do! i must remember this post.. and clean up my room, i mean its clear just CLUSTERED

#stress

i feel just overwhelmed 

why cant i have money 

lets talk christmas, im excited to get gifts. i have huynh, bobby, jess and claudia sold

i just want the joy of chirstmas and drinking egg nog as a chaser 

or maybe ill drink wine all night

oh thats something else i wanna do

drink wine quite often

with cigars

not wait thats whiskey

man whiskey is nasty

man
gin ugh

omg tequila, YES and and green fairy <3

god some poeple are asses

i love and hate

i should sleep

good bye

kisses



this video understands




“maybe if i drink another coffee, i will feel better”
“maybe if i buy myself a new sweater, i will feel better”
“maybe if i get so drunk i can’t see, i will feel better”
“maybe if i sleep for fourteen hours, i will feel better”

hoein'

ok.

  • ROLLER-SKATES 

  • kodak cameras
  • The diary of Frida Kahlo: An Intimate Self-Portrait
  • body chain
  • cat eye glasses
  • blank books
  • Moleskin journal no lines plz
  • (snez since you specialise in makeup, i need foundation and concealer, i have no idea how to pick it out for myself hahaha, oh and do you know any good lip stains?) 
  • Maid costume (ok not for sexual purposes {entirely} but I wanna wear it while cleaning up my room, you know, for encouragement)
  • charcoal and sketching paper
  • above knee high socks (black or white plz)
  • those white socks which are like calve high and have stripes on the top
  • denim skirt
  • proper garter straps, black, im a small, im sure of it
  • fuckng hair ties 
  • CURLING IRON 
  • checkered shirts
  • band shirts, led zep, pink floyd or <arctic monkeys preferably the logo with a union jack>
  • fishnet crop top
  • skull mug (they have it at unsw and gp)
  • popular penguins of on the road and clockwork orange
  • toe rings
  • ohhh gun earrings (x)
  • white (all over) low top chucks i'm a size 6
  • black (not all over, laces and sole still white) high top chucks
  • red vans
  • no beatles things unless its revolver on record, but eehs gonna get me that so no bother :) (((RIGHT E)))
  • most of you must know the boots i wore in high school, sadly i can never find them anywhere cause they are out of stock but if you find me something like that i would love you forever (they are like pretty high tops unlike those tedious combat boots, these are a mans bots son)
  • evil eyes and hamsa bracelets 

So like, I went shopping at basement books at the end of the uts exist at central and well 

I usually don't want people to buy me art supplies cause they usually get the shotty stuff and I can't use them and they're no good

But since art supplies are fucking expensive, ill show you what I want :), in all seriousness if you get me a bunch of water colour paper you will make my life cause art will never escape me, it's a talent I know I have and not many others can carry and so I feel special so I hope someone gets me a collection of these papers




The larger the better and the tougher the better because as you may not know the paper is thicker so it doesn't bend as easy, if you easily get me 2 or 3 of these you're set for life, I also don't mind small, I love all sizes cause it doesn't matter, what matters if how you use it ;)




WTF is this you might say, as this, my friend, is an art box, it'll just hold my basic paints and yada yada, I like being organised especially with my art supplies cause some of my things are sharp and I accidentally cut myself

Oh god yes and not to mention

PAINTS, THESE PAINTS ARE CHEAP AS AND OMG

JUST GET MY THE PRIMARY COLOURS AND BLACK AND WHITE OK!?
NOTHING IN BETWEEN CAUSE I CAN JUST MAKE MY OWN COLOURS

and canvases will be awesome thx