It reminds me of this song Jess showed me and Hellen showed her
One if the things I recommend doing is when you walk Cass, to wherever, to the station in the morning, to your lecture or to someone's house. don't play music. go old school. It's rather nice and calming and makes you think a lot.
I did it this morning and my mind was so powerful yet peaceful.
I think I'm in my good spot, my inspire point, it tends to come right after my period, sorry for the tmi but it's like my menstrual is a down point in my life, I get sad and angry, it's like this feeling is pumping through my veins, it's so fucking strange, and once I'm out of it it's like a breath of fresh air hahaha
I've been drawing and painting and thinking a lot
After going to Space 44 with Britney in cronulla I've been wanting to display my stuff and show people what I can do. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before, but people don't realise I have this side to me. They know it, but it's like idk
E.g. Jess was like "I keep forgetting you draw" and it's odd because I wonder if I actually express my artistic side that much. No one really knows I draw because I don't mention it, I'm busy bragging about partying and seeing concerts and stuff like that, I think it's my soft point, my "me" time kind of thing
Yeah, the reason why I love Danny Nguyen it because he respects my artistic side, he's always like "she draws so mad" or something like that hahaha. Plus he's cute. LOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL!!
I love drawing. I love art. I love putting pen, pencil, brush, paint to paper.
It's my passion along with feminism.
I've noticed that I am well known about these things to my uni friends.
And I think I'm a different person with Brittney but the kik know me differently. I'm this retarded bitch slut who can't shut the fuck up.
I've noticed they can never see me that way, artistic, whimsical and crazy passionate girl you know?
Example when I went to the VSA quiz night I was sitting with my unsw group and bobs was the host, and the people in the unsw crew who didn't know him were like "he's so cute and funny" "I love his voice" "he's adorable!" I had to step back and think wtf. All I saw was that gaga loser of a best friend I had who wore yellow all the time and with limbs that couldn't control themselves
I almost chocked on my beer!!!
It was such an eye opener because I started to wonder how people saw me
And basically it's a feminist
Ive dragged on this image for so long, my education mates always nudge me when the topic appears
I've never realised I've had these passions before and I felt like I've significantly changed over the course of two years.
My mum told me the other day that her friend said that you should let your kids out at a young age to get things out their system, to learn. And she thinks that keeping me trapped inside that house for the entire portion of my high school life made me never come home now.
I agree with that concept.
The second that I got out that house, I saw things I've never seen before.
It's a big bad world out there, but it's a hell of a ride, I'm sorry for the people who are so restricted that they can't see it.
I look at myself and all I see is a little girl.
But I'm not... (Entirely)
I'm a girl who is not quite 18 and not quite 20
I'm not quite ready for anything. But ready for everything and time isn't going to stop for anyone.
I'm not the same person I was a year ago nor the year before that. It's so scary.
How people change.
How much I've changed.
And I know the lessons I've learnt are only going to shape me for the future. I never thought that I would have a job in retail handling books, I never thought that I would be surrounded by different personalities that I could call my best friends, I never knew I could see different spectrums of the world with someone I love, I never knew that I could betray my family to such extents, and they still forgive me.
Do you guys think I changed? Please comment what you thought I was like, how I changed. I just would like to know. I don't care if you hurt my feeling because if you are my friend I probably already hurt yours hahah
My allergies are really acting up right now
The weather is really killing me. I'm so confused as to what to wear. It's so hit then it's freezing it's like ugh.
Putting aside my annoying allergies. I cannot imagine what I would be like in the future because I know it won't be anything like it is now.
Friends will move and families will begin along with fulfilling careers or endless jobs.
When I think future I think of my future kids, I think about what they will become and how they may have shape me.
That's when the ideals of opportunity trigger. I was sitting alone in the pop up store stickering books and I stumbled upon Shaun Tans new book named the Arrival.
It was about immigrants finding a new home, the whole Tony Abbott budget thing also sprung to mind.
The book hit a soft spot about my culture and how my dad came here by boat to bring his future family and my mum along. It began with a man in a new place, leaving his family to find opportunity, he was so lost in the book, he couldn't read or understand anyone. Tbh I wanted to cry because I couldn't imagine the stress my family went through to get where I am now, and now is higher education.
My parents shaped me to be there because they couldn't. They couldn't go to uni, they had no money and lived in such a dangerous place.
So they left everything to come here, sacrificing their future, their backs that went into hard labour to earn money for my education so I didn't have to go what they went through and my kids won't even face the hardships I went through with non-English speaking background parents.
You may not realise this now, but we are set as parents, us speaking English and having a hsc, the ability to read, the ability to find a job, we are set
We understand things our parents never did when living here, they couldn't reach out to us and give us help because they probably didn't understand or unreliable.
I know that I can help my kids, and cater to every need. I'm secure.
You see. It's a cycle. Cause of Tony fucking Abbott, opportunity can be erased.
What if the funding for uni raised and hex was gone the moment I tried to get into uni?
My parents couldn't afford uni, and thus i wouldn't be in uni and have to stick with a lower class job and my kids with follow that cycle.
Just. Fuck you Abbott.
ok i've lost all energy to finish to end this blog post so
These are the contents of my Uni bag today
It contains the following items
apple juice which is 2.50 and i love very much, its by a product by sam and i cant stop drinking it
my glasses, a need
water, again a need which really weighs my bag down
my beatles pencil case, and two highlighters popping out, my favorite colours
an array of essays i must read for my feminism essay
a sticker i got from the art gallery i got
my lipstick pen thing
my note pads i got from dymocks, they are so cute and handy!!
the book heat of day i must read for my end of semester exam, its good so far but i havent found the time to read it (yet i have time to blog?)
my yearly diary, again super essential to my bag, like super super
underneath it my note pad
tissues for my allergies
earphones (essential) and ipad (not so essential but light and fun to have + lecture slides inside = good :3 )
i almost staved a few nights ago so now i pack food or snacks incase, hence the choc, the lolly pop an egyptian guy gave me at space 44, im so sure he was into me, plus he owned the space ;) and biscuits! super salty goodness, perfect with water!!!
the second ring is currently my favorite, i was going into my modernism class with Abel (in which my partner for my presentation thought was my boyfriend which was cringy) and well this American girl who i talked to a few weeks before kept looking at me and smiling and said hi and so i politely talked to her as we moved desks around because the room isnt structured for discussion, as i was doing so and more people came into our class, the American girl made me sit next to her and i felt super bad for Abel because i usually sit next to him and there was no room for him
As someone did their presentation i was just staring around the room and the tall American girl by my side
i noticed her amazing ring and i just wanted to say something but waited until the presentation was over
the second it was i was like, CAN I SEE YOUR RING
and she was like, yeah and i was like i. am. going. to. ebay. that. and she spent the rest of the class discussion finding it on eBay for me and emailed it me
shes really nice, oh and she was just like "yeah my ex-girlfriend gave it to me"
and im like oh.... cool! LOL lesbians are cool, shes really tall and pretty too
oh, and the cutest part about the day was that Abel waited outside for me even though i didnt sit next to him... no wonder my partner thought i was dating him... LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL he has a girlfriend just to let you know....
sigh i really want that ring... (hint hint)
ok my energy bar is going low and my assignment due date is critical so...
BYE!
“You died over a year ago, and no one noticed.”
i think one of the best way to write an essay is if someone you hate is saying the question, and you want to prove them wrong
i can feeeeeeel myself regretting you, its in my blood
i miss having a thingy there
i feel lost
i have a really bad headache
i hate vines sometimes, its like stop doing stupid things to yourself just uggggh
like this bitch jumping off a bridge (shes fine) or letting people hit you and throwing yourself whyyyy
tuesday - meet up with presentation partner, arctic monkeys √
wednesday - do tutorial preparation, finish presentation slides, script and handout √
thursday - presentation, go home and clean my room (try to find time to prepare for 2 tuts on monday {probably never going to happen})
friday- work, shop for mums gift, new wave sound
saturday- rest, sandys fiesta for her 19th at embassy (get home early)
sunday- work, mothers day (dont forget to buy flowers)
plans to make room look like this
i want to have a brick like scheme of photographs on my wall but last time i tried that all the photos fell off and i ruined a handful of photos with tape...
i should get a plant
Things to brag about (how to b kool maria style)
that i saw arctic monkeys
i saw sticky fingers twice, the first gig was so small, second was rowdy
i saw tame impala twice, the first gig was so small, second was rowdy
im going to chet faker
im going to splendour
i paint
i paint ladies
i paint ladies, nude
Things im really good at
never responding to messages
Things im bad at
cleaning my room
not fighting with my mum
not going out
not being emotional
fuck it ill chuck a dear you in here
Dear you 1
I love you, i really do. You're amazing and beautiful. You're like my bestest friend because you accept me for who i am. You see the world in my eyes. We obviously have differences in personalities, but aside from that we are the same people. We try to avoid what makes unhappy because we know we dont need it or deserve it. You understand why i do things even though overs dont. You listen and care for what i have to say. I truly care about your wellbeing and i dont worry about you at all, because i know everything you do, you do it for you. I get that. And you get that too. We've never had a fallout and i dont think we ever will. We get each other too much i guess?? idk.
i know i'm being so generous, but anyway i would like to show you what its like to be in my shoes hence the Leather boots and red lipstick
Join me in Art im going to show you the work i had to do
I dont care if you think its easy or hard, just i was thinking the other day while reading nancys post about her science class
and i was like
wait
Nancy does science?? hahaha and i found it so interesting that she does something so different from me, and i always wonder whats causing people all this misery and stress
and guess what, i'll show you whats keeping me up until 4 am so far, these are the assessments ive already done.
Write
a reflection paper on your language, literacy, and numeracy experiences as a
student. Take care to reference at
least four readings from course weeks 1-4. Use the guiding questions to
structure your response.
·To what extent
were your language, literacy, and numeracy different than those of your peers?
To what extent were they similar?
·To what extent were your language, literacy, and
numeracy experiences different than what your teachers expected? To what extent
were they similar?
·What did you do in response to any language,
literacy, and numeracy issues that came up?
·Would you behave
similarly or differently with your students than your teachers did with you?
ARTS2121
Critical Perspectives
25%
500-750 Words
(A) A Reading Summary is a succinct assessment of the varied components of a writer’s argument. This Summary should also contain a reflection on your response to the arguments. The issues you need to address are:
what are the main concerns addressed in this text?
what key ideas does the writer introduce and what arguments does s/he put forward?
what case studies/examples are used to further the arguments?
If relevant, how has the text led you to examine and/or question familiar assumptions about the nature of live performance?
In this summary, you must address ONE of the following course readings:
EITHER:
Nick Kaye, ‘Chapter 1. From Postmodern Style to Performance’, in Postmodernism and Performance (Houndmills: Macmillan, 1994), pp. 5-23, 147-9
OR
Frederic Jameson, ‘Postmodernism and Consumer Society’, in Ann E Kaplan (ed) Postmodernism and its Discontents: Theories, Practices (London: Verso, 1988): 13-20
ARTS2036
Modernism
45%
2,500 Words
3. “so called love must be reduced to its initial element, [and] honour, grief, sentimentality, pride & consequently jealousy must be detached from it.” Mina Loy, “Feminist Manifesto” (1914)
Discuss how the concept of love is represented in your two texts. You may wish to consider how your two texts imagine the emotion of love in new or unconventional ways, and whether your two texts challenge or critique traditional conceptions of love.
ARTS2031
Australian Literature
20%
1,500
Research Exercise – due week 3 March 20
Using the
AUSTLIT database find two articles published in any of the major scholarly
literary journals (eg Australian Literary
Studies, Southerly, JASAL, Westerly, Overland)
between 2000 and 2010 and examine how they address the question of Australian
landscape, suburbia or urban life (ie you should focus on one of these topics). Write a brief summary of each article
highlighting its main argument (approx. 300-400 words for each article) then
write a brief account of how the two essays contribute to an understanding of this
topic more broadly within Australian literary studies. Your assignment should
not be longer than 1500 words in total, including referencing.
Yeah, Isn't weird that these things that you dont care about, that something you just brush over is so significant to me? wow hahaha
side note, i was thinking as to why i had a mac in year 11 and i realised the only reason why i wanted one was because of charlieissocoollike hahahah
I'm also selecting my courses for next sem and they are
I'm feeling a bit low I don't know why, ok I might know why but I'm trying not to think about it
Yesterday was a nice day, didn't start off great and didn't end great, but the part where I got to see Danny and Eeh was so nice, I really really missed them.
I've been around Jess, Collin and Drew for so long that I needed a change of pace (those assholes like ugh ;) )
I woke up late again, it was 12 but I tried to get out of bed, but I really didn't do anything, I really wanted to clean my room and I still haven't
It was nice waking up early today and not feel so sleepy, even though I kept going back to bed which is really bad, it's the weather man, if it wasn't cold and if I wasn't so sad I would get out of bed easier
I really want to put the song " grown woman " as my alarm so I can wake up dancing but I'm afraid I'll be so sick of the song that whenever it plays I'll get annoyed
That song brings up my mood though it makes me so cheery
"You wanna know how I got it like that, cause I got a cute face and a booty so fat"
Then the song gets all dancey it's so cool
I'm at merrylands now, I'm on my way to work
I'm kind of excited cause I want to go to work, I always don't want to go cause I want to sleep and do stuff but when I do go, seeing my co-workers and talking to them is so nice, and the day goes by quite quickly and plus I get paid so by the end of the day as I walk out that building and onto the trains I feel so serene
Talking about serenity, I feel upset that I didn't get to say happy birthday to tian LOL
the whole day I spent trying to tie our inside jokes all together and then create a lovely happy birthday message but no I kept thinking and thinking by the time I was on her wall it was 1am and I feel like such a dog
She was wildly significant to my high school life, she was the light of my day hahaha no joke
I never ok I'm at granvile
Anyways I never give time to my friends other than kik
Eg I was meant to go ikea with Jens and see Sues new house over the holidays but no, I felt a bit ill (then again I got some serious back pain) and even Caitlyn invited me out but I kept rejecting, I'm just never up to it anymore
I need a car hahaha, ok I need my ps
I'm all talk and I know it
It's my body, it slows down my mind
I wish I could fix myself and be the person I want to be, I can do it but I'm in the way
My heavy body and heavy mind really set me back a couple of steps to a better person
You know what makes me feel great? Art, painting.
I feel like that's the only thing I'm good at, naturally good at.
If I didn't have retarded Ms Simpson as a teacher I might be in cofa now, wearing a maxi skirt and a red lipstick talking about post modernity and it's effect on the avant-grade, a movement so significant it is the main influence on my art
Ok at parra ttyl
Now I am at work
Miss pap just came in wtf lol
I ignored her idk why but yeah
I'm already in a better mood, I should love work not hate it, sigh i hope I get things done when I get home
I'll write again in my break
Ok so I didn't write in my break instead I sat with my coworker just talking cause I'm so lonely at b2
Jess told me she is going to pick me up after work, that'll be nice! So I don't have to be alone and think and stuff
Ok I noticed every time i blog I'm a mope
Let's talk about something else
Like how exciting things are going to get like
Arctic monkeys on Tuesday!!! How exciting!!!!!
I can't wait to see Alex turner in the flesh, too bad our seats aren't that good ;( but still it's better than not going!!
After arctic I'm going to the new sound wave thing whatever it is, apparently it edm and apparently I'm going to get so fucking drunk!!!!!!!!!
Before that I might meet Britney at Marys burgers, it was so good and fatty and yum!! I went their on Caitlyn's birthday
So good, they played Metallica all night, I love Metallica now hahahah I'm such a poser
Let's see
I have Chet faker and splendour coming up which is going to be awesome!!
Bobby makes me want to buy new clothes for it bleh money money money!!
Maybe I should sell my shit
Maybe I should get another job
Maybe I should clean up my room
I need a vacuum cleaner
I currently have to read this book for my modernity class called the heat of day which is really good so far
It's like how I would write
Looking back at art, I love painting
I'm getting into acrylics so I'm really excited to understand it
Maybe I should move on to pastels for the cardboard I use for the paint
I need canvases
I should set my priorities straight
I think that's the first step to do, know what I want and go in that direction
But I want so many things
Too many things
I think I should have some alone time
For reals, I need time to get back to my family and study
I know I keep saying it
Man I'm even a let down to myself
I'm in such a slump.
I hope Jess and Collin this afternoon fix me, help me
Hahah
I feel a but better now, I guess I needed company
“I remember crying over you and I don’t mean a couple of tears and I’m blue. I’m talking about collapsing and screaming at the moon.”
