Wrapz

I've been listening to a lot of rap and U.O.E.N.O.

hahah 

So currently my favourite rappers include, in no particular order
  • Tyler The Creator
  • Earl Sweatshirt
  • I like Snoop Dogg but not as a rapper more as a person
  • Childish Gambino
  • Kendrick Lamar
  • ScHoolboy Q
  • Chance The Rapper
  • And of course Biggie Smalls

I dont know why i have this sudden genre change but it's just really nice to listen to when i, angry
all the anger and sadness and wanting to dance at the same time?
How could you not want to listen 2 dat shie

Ok so videos to strike conversation

Gold
Chet Faker

This video slips is so hypnotic, i mean look at their thunder thighs
i mean they must be some serious rollerskaters man
I like how at the end [[Spoilers]] when shes just luring you in 
and then Chet is just chilling in a car beside of a deer
like wut
but i think he is the best person ive seen life mainly because he mixes
the versions he creates of his songs live
its insane
its more dancey which is fucking perfect
you must see him ive
I'm planning to go to listen out ahhh!!

The Worst Guys
Childish Gambino ft. Chance the Rapper


This was the first song i loved in Childish Gambinos album
Chance being in it makes it better
The Video makes it a million times better
please watch it
If you really want to crave summer
fucking watch this, its so beautiful and chill
and theyre both so cute!
hehehe

Collard Greens
ScHoolboy Q ft. Kendrick Lamar

Well the only reason really that i am posting this song is because its my fav right now
ahahahah
I'm really digging the black hipster look
ScHoolboy and his bucket hats are so cute
i love him even more because he loves his daughter so much
on his instagram he has a pic of her smiling 
and the caption was 
"THis is wHy i Hate being a rapper"
Its so sad
But yeah the vid is so trippy and fun and KENDRICK IS IN IT
i love love love him
i think he would be my fav rapper tbh
anyways
at one point of the song 
When Kendrick starts 
around 1:58
You see maklmore or however you spell his name
how random
if you keep watching kendrick starts rapping slow
At around 2:12
there are 3 girls
who are beautiful

 Seeing girls like that really make me appreciate my skin tone
my whole life i hated being dark
even when i was a little girl
i wanted light skin blonde hair and blue eyes
i didnt know why that was
probs the bullying around highschool        
but now i truly love myself and my skin colour
today at the dymocks photoshoot the makeup artist said i had great skin
woo!
anyways
i want to look like those girls
i could never find the right colour for my skin because every makeup look i save or search for are for white women

Just wanted you guys to know im happy :)
about my skin colour

my life still sucks

lol





Reach for the stars so if you fall you'll land on the clouds - kanye west - homecoming

Break the Bank

I finally realise what I want

And it's money

I like to Instag stalk random people with much better lives than I do

I see all the food they eat, all the concerts they go to, all the clothes they buy, how classy they look and just everything I want

I want money

Money money money

I want my money

I want my mum to not be a bitch and take my money away from me

I want another job

A nice one, nice staff (please) 
Close together
Flexible hours
A boss who I'm close with and loves me

I want more piercings
I really want to travel

I want to taste great food and not feel cold when it rains harder than ever

I want $35 eyeliner printed on my eyelids making me look fierce

I want naked urban decay on my eyelids

I want my eyebrows to be on point

I want a tight wrap skirt that looks great on me while I'm in the club swaying my hips to a great song and my man hanging behind me

I want liquor and never chase that

I want to get to UNi hungover with a large bottle of water with lemon slices 

I want it to be hot

I want the sun on my face

I want to smile like I used to

I want a dog to hold

I want a plain simple room I can take plain simple selfies on

I want to read books with cool covers

I want $100 jackets that actually keep me warm

I want to go gym in non slip or too short wear, I want to pull myself up all proper

I want my abs to shine and back to FLEXZXXXXX

MOST OF ALL I want my thighs to slim down, remain thick but tighter and stronger

I want to dip on the dance floor with no struggle

I want the boys at the gym to look at me and see dedication and a sweet ass they wish they tapped during high school

(And never will!)

I want to hear down the grapevine how damn fly I am

I already like the fact that people from highschool know I'm different 

Telling me about things then saying "but that's not your thing is it?"

Like yeah nigga I have a thing that no one can touch




I want to be close with my mum again
I want her to look pretty
I want her to take selfies with me
I want her to feel pretty

I want to not have my new home a mess

I don't want a leaky roof
Noisy neighbours 
And no where to park

I want a garden

As previously stated 

A dog

A pantry

Carpet 

Garage

No over crowded rooms with things we don't need

Family portraits 

I want things to not feel so messy





You know who I love? Jens

I don't know why 

She makes you feel so special for being who you are

Why is that so hard for people to do?
I guess I do the same thing so I can't talk

Jess I totally understand what you mean with girlfriends

I need some girlfriends

I'm so glad I have my UNi mates, I was a bit hesitant about them all being girls but the more I look back at it the more i appreciate

I saw the worst in Sandy and Jens
 But they are the kindest most loyal girls you could ever meet

Weird isn't it?


Tbh I really don't know what I am anymore, have I finally figured out what has been wrong with me this whole time?

I think lately I've been feeling so solid that I lost what I was. A girl in pieces. 

I think I've been acting too mature

I need to let go

I need to find who I am again

I need to find it in jess and Collin

I need to find it in bobs

I need to find it in huynh and Eeh

I need to find it in Jens

I need to find it in everyone that used to look at my little pieces

Heck I need mother fuckin Chet back in my life, dear JESUS I must see Jahmika, Joanna

I think we need to see our past selves to really see our present a future self







Not a bad vomit of words for someone awake at 2 am aye?







Rose

I recently got my placement for education

i took a day off of uni today because i am behind work

like really behind and i still havent sont anything all day

now i really need to use my time more productively

Mondays, Uni 12-3
Tuesdays, Placement
Wednesday, Work
Thursday, 1-2 (i hate you american lit)
Fridays, 2-3 ( i hate you even more american lit)
Saturday, nothing
Sunday, nothing


i feel breathless

i'm also moving in two weeks

isnt that just scary? 

i feel really overwhelmed how quickly everything is getting i really want to get the fuck away i swear to jesus i just feel like nothing and everything is changing

The only thing making me feel less anxious is ScHoolboy Q and my Michael Jackson playlist

everything will be ok everything will be ok everything will be ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok 


fuck i want to go shopping, spend money and pretend like everything is good and easy and hapy fpr 10 seconds please.






Crush a bit, little bit, roll it up, take a hit
Feeling lit, feeling light, 2 a.m., summer night
Hands on the wheel, uhh, fuck that
- ScHoolboy Q / A$AP Rocky - Hands on the Wheel 







fuck


coke

My cereal is all soggy because i was packing my lunch while eating :(



every mondays i, wilson, and osly take the train and bus to uni which is nice

i ran down Cabra station and saw them
i asked "are we going to do this every week??"
Osly said "yeah i was wondering where you were" (ngaw)
i noticed his can of coke in his hand
"Coke at this time?" (Mind you it was the morning!)
he told me he had dumplings
he had to pick between coke or ice tea
i completely understood him
i mean, we started talking about how certain food calls for certain drinks!
 we were just like, e.g. Dumplings or Lasagne
"People who drink it with water are fucked"
i mean seriously
"you need something to wash it down!"

So yeah

Interesting conversation topic aye?

so dont judge me you know my name not my story

It is currently 9:47 and i am about to get dressed for uni

I was meant to wake up at 8 today but i ended up waking up at 9

yet i still got ready on time

it takes me less than 15 min to get to the station, i know it takes me about 10 minutes but in some instances i would be late for the train so i added an extra 5

my train comes at 10:40 and i have to leave at 10:25

Sandy just replied to my text asking if i wanted a lift to uni

i feel like such an ass asking but shes a truthful girl, if she didnt want me there she would tell me

i sleep anyways so justin and sandy can do whatever they want hahah

she is leaving at 11

what should i do?

i'm in a train mood, you know? walking to the station on this bright sunny day and sitting in the train while the sun hits your face listen to music and pretending like youre in a music video


Maybe i just crave some alone time??

i love being alone /in public sometimes

everything is my pace, there is no rushing or slowing down i can listen to what i want and not strike conversations

i love talking to myself i guess

im the only person who knows me best (rephrasing a Frido Kharlo quote because i'm deep)

Man i love the flowers in her hair

http://www.bookdepository.com/Diary-Frida-Kahlo/9780810959545

this has been in my wishlest the longest time

i really wish that i can use my own money

i really really want to pay everyone back but my mum complains about my money and how i don;t try for youth allowance

so i signed up for it

and now she wont fill in her side of the paper work about how much she earns

i dont know why that matters i dont even use her money >:(((((


ok im getting a lift from Sandy

i should get dressed

i love you

byereeevujgjkugk



Sometimes I feel like I’m not solid. I’m hollow. There’s nothing behind my eyes. I’m a negative of a person. All I want is blackness, blackness and silence.
— Sylvia Plath (Sylvia)



Lights



Shes so fucking hot, i cant stop listening to this song since spledour

i would do anything to touch her body

i just really glad that i have friends to study with now

i'm doing my assignment two week before the due date

i have a feeling this sem will be the sem for me


summer oh summer

lets hope the second half of the year will make this year worthwhile

i want lighter hair, darker skin

short shorts and just happiness



I'm more of the, trips to Florida
Order the h'orderves, views of the Water
Straight from the page of your favorite author
And the weather so breezy,
man why can't life always be this easy
She in the mirror dancing so sleazy, 



m: Why don't you ever tell me about Tafe??
e: Because i never see you
m: Yeah, i miss you, why haven't we been seeing each other!?
e: Andrew.

Sometimes

Sometimes, when youre blue, listen to angry rap

i was feeling a bit doom and gloom just then cassie

i was thinkg about the stuff i needed to do for uni and i think im finaly feeling the stress that Emily had been feeling haha

i have to read a play called Spring Awakening by a Wedekind

its really interesting and its pro-sex education which i really like

my lecturer explained the story and its full of rape loss sex and even a bit of homo to top it off
and my friend turned to me and was like "This play is so you"

HAHAH ???? WHAT

i guess they know im into that whole sex weird kill story thing LOL

My lecturer for my acting course was my tutor for my first ever drama class and he remembered me which was nice, he asked my how the theatre course is treating me

My lecturer for American Lit is again the same tutor from my first ever english course and she e-mailed me after i made an enquiry and she said "its lovely to have you in my classes again"

and that makes me wonder am i significant? do they notice EVERY student? or am i special?? haha idk


the girls i hang out with are Sandy, Kylie and Jessica

We all do Education and Theatre and Sandy and Jess do english as well
we have the same timetable

Today we all had subway and we sat outside bitching about the strange faces we see in Education

There is this one girl i never like, the one who wears fedoras and always puts her hands up to ask pretentious questions and speaks out loud in lectures then says "im just talking to myself" like NIGGA BITCH GTFO

We were talking about our placements and she had the nerve to ask
"Can i not go to a particular school? (i mean even the lecturer was baffled because why would you turn down a placement????) Like for example, i dont want to go to an islamic school because of my beliefs"


UMMM UNLESS YOU BECOMING A RELIGIOUS TEACHER WHICH YOURE NOT MISS I BRAG IM IN MUSIC, YOU DO NOT NEED TO FUCKING, UGHHH LIKE WHY WOULD YOU ASK THAT QUESTION, ITS NO OFFENSIVE AND SHE SAID NO OFFENCE TOO LIKE MOTHER FUCKER. M O T H E R F U C K E R IS IT SO HARD TO SPEND 5 MIN AFTER THE LECTURE AND ASK THAT QUESTION YO SELF, I WOULD BE SO OFFENDED LIKE FUCK UP DUMB ASS UGH MAN SERIOUSLY


ok rant finished but man you have the fucking nerve like bro

But yeah its nice having a group to sit with in class, its funny how we are all asian tho its like, we stand out in theatre and english

i just kind of wanted to talk i guess

i was feeling a bit lonely tonight

maybe its the lack of gym??

its nice gyming with Wynee who am i kidding its fun and she gets me pumped haha


i know it might be weird but i kinda not want to wear a bra??

i kind of like the look idk idkkkkk its like nice i guess

but i think i would feel to uncomfortable

i have to read the scarlet letter

what else in life

idk i wish i was dead kinda mood


i have to wake up at 6:20 tmr to get ready for uni and then Justin is going to drive me there where Sandy and i (and jess too) are going to study from 9-2 where we have a lecture, go home

konk out

maybe gym (gotta do legs)

and just think about monday

goodnight champ



"across cultures, darker people suffer most. why?"
Andre 3000 at Lollapalooza
"thinking deeply about shallow sh#t."
Andre 3000 at Splendour 
i hate you